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Cleaning up the mean streets of the internet - because somebody's gotta do it. From the cyberpunk hellscape of Neo-Chicago, Officer Kevin and Officer Grant monitor the world wide web so you don't have to. Leave us a voicemail to play on the show: 312-788-7361 or send an audio file to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com The Thought Cops have deputized a number of your favorite thought leaders, content creators, comedians, online personalities, and more, in their effort to clean up the internet once and for all.
Episodes
Wednesday Dec 28, 2022
Case File 285: The Audio Professional Didn’t Set Up His Microphone Properly with Zwick
Wednesday Dec 28, 2022
Wednesday Dec 28, 2022
This Christmas/New Years/Holiday season you will be haunted by three podcasters: the ghost of Kevin, the ghost of Grant, and the ghost of this week's guest: everybody's favorite bisexual Juggalo and our very own editor/producer, Zwick!
Field Notes
It's negative 100 degrees outside, so we bring in the New Year by bullying Zwick, who we all agree, brings it on himself. So we hate on movie lists, people putting their hands in front of you and expecting you to know what handshake to do, Grinch revisionism, and more!
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Wednesday Dec 21, 2022
Case File 284: Mandatory Holiday Special
Wednesday Dec 21, 2022
Wednesday Dec 21, 2022
Ho ho ho! Happy Merry! It's a Thought Cops Christmas special! You only get to listen if the Elf on the Shelf says you're on the Nice List.
Field Notes
Last Christmas we gave you our heart, but this year we share in tales of merriment and holiday cheer. We set out to rediscover what the true meaning of Christmas is: that Santa Claus is real. That's it, that's the whole thing. If you don't believe that you're a bad person. We also talk about movies and venturing out into public amongst lunatics.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Like what we do? Buy us a Ko-fi!
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Monday Dec 12, 2022
Case File 283: Serial Experiments LAN with Merritt K
Monday Dec 12, 2022
Monday Dec 12, 2022
Merritt K returns to Thought Cops to talk about her upcoming photo book LAN Party!
Field Notes
Recalling memories of days on the internet of old, Merritt K talks to us about her book LAN Party, which is full of photos of people just hanging out on the computer and having an awesome time with their friends. It's a delightful walk down memory lane, to simpler (yet slightly more convoluted) times.
You can support the book LAN Party here!
Was the internet better back then? Is it actually worse now? Will the Mario movie be good? All questions will be answered on this very episode.
In other news, apparently The Office is too edgy to be made now, and you can pee any time you want during Avatar 2 as long as you pay for a ticket to see it multiple times.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Like what we do? Buy us a Ko-fi!
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Dec 06, 2022
Case File 282: Endless Content Forever with Jacob Gregor
Tuesday Dec 06, 2022
Tuesday Dec 06, 2022
Chicago filmmaker Jacob Gregor joins us this week to talk about his latest film Endless Content Forever! A match made in heaven with the themes of this podcast, and his experimental movie.
Field Notes
We bond over how annoying the internet is, naturally. Some guy takes his son to Hooters, and "it is sending us." Twitter is set to have multiple different colored badges because, well, Elon.
Be sure to check out Endless Content Forever playing at a local film fest near you! Coming soon to Chicago, Florida, and Los Angeles. Follow Jacob for all the updates: https://twitter.com/JacobGorb
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Like what we do? Buy us a Ko-fi!
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Nov 29, 2022
Tuesday Nov 29, 2022
Happy holiday season! We hope this free bonus content warms up your winter just a little bit. Enjoy an episode of our Patreon-exclusive spin-off show Fire Bros – on the house!
Field Notes
“Fire Bros? W.T.F. is that,” you may be wondering. Well, if you donate at least $2 to us on Patreon, you’ll get access to ALL of the episodes of our spin-off show Fire Bros where we review different pieces of media each month. Who else but the Thought Cops could determine what is and isn’t safe for public consumption? In this episode, we decide whether to burn or save some of the most hotly-contested properties around.
Check out the timestamps below and find out:
The Simpsons Movie - 3:00
Everything Everywhere All at Once - 32:20
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 - 1:01:11
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Nov 22, 2022
Case File 281: Bug Chasing with Beetle Moses
Tuesday Nov 22, 2022
Tuesday Nov 22, 2022
We caught the bug-- Beetle Moses, that is, who is back on the show for his first solo Thought Cops appearance.
Field Notes
Beetle Moses from Cold Cuts returns, and we talk about shower discourse, making food for neighbors discourse, and Mario movie casting discourse.
But enough with the discourse-- we also delve deep into the mind of the young cartoonist, who rose from humble beginnings just less than a year ago, to the fresh apex of his career currently, setting some kind of record for quickest irony poisoning ever.
What's it like to transition from fine art to web comics? Why have Beetle Moses' comics quickly connected with so many people on the internet? What kind of toppings would you like on your hamburger? All that and lots more will be answered on this episode of Thought Cops.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Like what we do? Buy us a Ko-fi!
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Nov 15, 2022
Case File 280: Strange Encounters with Jab50yen
Tuesday Nov 15, 2022
Tuesday Nov 15, 2022
My life a Yakuza game fr -- Jab50yen joins us again as we tell stories of some of our strangest run-ins with strangers.
Field Notes
Jab from Funny Rave, YouTube thumbnails, and LOTS of other stuff returns!
What's it like to be "known for" something? To sometimes be known only as a "Thought Cop"?? We share our content creation plights on this episode.
We depart a little bit from the realm of the internet and share some strange stories from "IRL", including one that happened to Kevin right before recording this episode. Gotta spin it into content!
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Like what we do? Buy us a Ko-fi!
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Nov 08, 2022
Case File 279: Toxic Masculinity with Garrett Hunter
Tuesday Nov 08, 2022
Tuesday Nov 08, 2022
"Jamie pull up that latest episode of Thought Cops, I heard they were talking about DMT with Garrett Hunter of Mega64."
Field Notes
Garrett Hunter returns once again to talk to us about Mega64's Interactive Hell Festival, and his weekly streaming show the PPS! Also a lot of other stuff, he's a pretty busy guy.
Somebody check us for radiation poisoning because the toxic scales are off the charts this week. We talk about weight lifting, supplements, and deciding to all of a sudden become a pro wrestler!
Boiling an egg? Hard. Making toast? Probably impossible! Folks, we did NOT want to adult on this one.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Like what we do? Buy us a Ko-fi!
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Sunday Oct 30, 2022
Case File 278: Podcast of Horror with Slime da Garbage Mane
Sunday Oct 30, 2022
Sunday Oct 30, 2022
You're asking for a treat? Baby, you got a trick-- Slime da Garbage Mane is back on the damn show in this "spooktacular" episode of Thought Cops season 2!
Field Notes
Slime is back, possessed by some sort of ghoul or something. Elon Musk has officially bought the "bird site" after months of back and forth. Hey man, knock yourself out.
Matthew Perry said that Keanu Reeves should not be alive. Then he said, just kidding! "Could I BE any more of a bitter freak??"
People who identify as Gamers are, apparently, not so good! According to a recent study. Science! Is there anything it can't figure out?
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Like what we do? Buy us a Ko-fi!
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Oct 25, 2022
Case File 277: SEASON TWO?! with Ari Grabb
Tuesday Oct 25, 2022
Tuesday Oct 25, 2022
The podcast you know and love is entering "season 2" nearly 6 years in! It's a whole new world order of Thought Cops, baby! Let us know what you think!
Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Well you shouldn't be. Ari Grabb is back on the show to talk about the fourth entry in his Bento Banana animated series! It's a loaded episode from top to bottom.
Field Notes
Two Minutes Of Hate? I don't know her. We're just vibing. But it wouldn't be Thought Cops without an update from Tim Allen or something.
Drama around Bayonetta 3 has taken some interesting twists and turns, and Kanye West is in the limelight agai- oh no.
We dive into the mindset of the modern day cartoonist, and the cartoonist looks back and reflects the world upon us. All that and more in season two of Thought Cops!
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Like what we do? Buy us a Ko-fi!
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com