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Cleaning up the mean streets of the internet - because somebody's gotta do it. From the cyberpunk hellscape of Neo-Chicago, Officer Kevin and Officer Grant monitor the world wide web so you don't have to. Leave us a voicemail to play on the show: 312-788-7361 or send an audio file to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com The Thought Cops have deputized a number of your favorite thought leaders, content creators, comedians, online personalities, and more, in their effort to clean up the internet once and for all.
Episodes
9 hours ago
9 hours ago
What's up all you cool cats out there-- Jack Ryan joins us in studio for a wonderful winter day of podcasting.
Support the show on Patreon
Field Notes
Snow has fallen on the neon cityscape of Neo-Chicago, but we are safe inside from the elements and talking about trains, toys, and tiktok into our microphones.
M&Ms are back in the news. Because they always fucking are. People are freaking out because Pink Floyd has gone "woke". Lol, you won't believe this one. Jay Leno is also becoming the 6 million dollar man.
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Jan 24, 2023
Tuesday Jan 24, 2023
We "shift" ourselves to 1984 and back this week as Ben Flores and Sarah Black return to the show to talk about their latest new podcast CrimeWatchers!
Field Notes
'Rewatch podcasts' are all the rage right now. CrimeWatchers is the latest hit podcast of that phenomenon, as two of the stars of Crimestoppers: Miami (the show each and every one of us watched in the 2000's) Kent and Piper talk us through what it was like to be on set, or in some cases even LIVE on set!
Ben and Sarah bring to life the wonderful world of Crime, and talk us through the process. We talk about the latest phenomenon currently hitting TikTok, "shifting", and were marks and angles a math thing? You tell us.
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Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Like what we do? Buy us a Ko-fi!
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Jan 17, 2023
Tuesday Jan 17, 2023
Woke M&M's are back, but good news, so is Aaron Klopfer!
Field Notes
That's right: woke M&M's are back, gas stove discourse is lighting up the internet, and Hobo Johnson exists. Talk about a hell world!
We also talk about turning 30, working and not working, depression, dating, and whatever the fuck else millennials these days talk about.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Like what we do? Buy us a Ko-fi!
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Jan 10, 2023
Tuesday Jan 10, 2023
For our first episode of 2023, Alex Ptak returns as we discuss Quorators, content creation, and lots more.
Field Notes
We share our new years resolutions on this episode, and talk about Quora, the newest garbage bin of the internet, when you need a question answered and want the longest and preferably most insane answer possible.
Andrew Tate and Andrew WK are the yin and yang of partying, Jeremy Renner gets run over by a reindeer (snow plow), and people can't stop making lists!
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Like what we do? Buy us a Ko-fi!
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Wednesday Dec 28, 2022
Wednesday Dec 28, 2022
This Christmas/New Years/Holiday season you will be haunted by three podcasters: the ghost of Kevin, the ghost of Grant, and the ghost of this week's guest: everybody's favorite bisexual Juggalo and our very own editor/producer, Zwick!
Field Notes
It's negative 100 degrees outside, so we bring in the New Year by bullying Zwick, who we all agree, brings it on himself. So we hate on movie lists, people putting their hands in front of you and expecting you to know what handshake to do, Grinch revisionism, and more!
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Like what we do? Buy us a Ko-fi!
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Wednesday Dec 21, 2022
Wednesday Dec 21, 2022
Ho ho ho! Happy Merry! It's a Thought Cops Christmas special! You only get to listen if the Elf on the Shelf says you're on the Nice List.
Field Notes
Last Christmas we gave you our heart, but this year we share in tales of merriment and holiday cheer. We set out to rediscover what the true meaning of Christmas is: that Santa Claus is real. That's it, that's the whole thing. If you don't believe that you're a bad person. We also talk about movies and venturing out into public amongst lunatics.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Like what we do? Buy us a Ko-fi!
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Monday Dec 12, 2022
Monday Dec 12, 2022
Merritt K returns to Thought Cops to talk about her upcoming photo book LAN Party!
Field Notes
Recalling memories of days on the internet of old, Merritt K talks to us about her book LAN Party, which is full of photos of people just hanging out on the computer and having an awesome time with their friends. It's a delightful walk down memory lane, to simpler (yet slightly more convoluted) times.
You can support the book LAN Party here!
Was the internet better back then? Is it actually worse now? Will the Mario movie be good? All questions will be answered on this very episode.
In other news, apparently The Office is too edgy to be made now, and you can pee any time you want during Avatar 2 as long as you pay for a ticket to see it multiple times.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Like what we do? Buy us a Ko-fi!
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Dec 06, 2022
Tuesday Dec 06, 2022
Chicago filmmaker Jacob Gregor joins us this week to talk about his latest film Endless Content Forever! A match made in heaven with the themes of this podcast, and his experimental movie.
Field Notes
We bond over how annoying the internet is, naturally. Some guy takes his son to Hooters, and "it is sending us." Twitter is set to have multiple different colored badges because, well, Elon.
Be sure to check out Endless Content Forever playing at a local film fest near you! Coming soon to Chicago, Florida, and Los Angeles. Follow Jacob for all the updates: https://twitter.com/JacobGorb
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Like what we do? Buy us a Ko-fi!
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Nov 29, 2022
Tuesday Nov 29, 2022
Happy holiday season! We hope this free bonus content warms up your winter just a little bit. Enjoy an episode of our Patreon-exclusive spin-off show Fire Bros – on the house!
Field Notes
“Fire Bros? W.T.F. is that,” you may be wondering. Well, if you donate at least $2 to us on Patreon, you’ll get access to ALL of the episodes of our spin-off show Fire Bros where we review different pieces of media each month. Who else but the Thought Cops could determine what is and isn’t safe for public consumption? In this episode, we decide whether to burn or save some of the most hotly-contested properties around.
Check out the timestamps below and find out:
The Simpsons Movie - 3:00
Everything Everywhere All at Once - 32:20
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 - 1:01:11
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Nov 22, 2022
Tuesday Nov 22, 2022
We caught the bug-- Beetle Moses, that is, who is back on the show for his first solo Thought Cops appearance.
Field Notes
Beetle Moses from Cold Cuts returns, and we talk about shower discourse, making food for neighbors discourse, and Mario movie casting discourse.
But enough with the discourse-- we also delve deep into the mind of the young cartoonist, who rose from humble beginnings just less than a year ago, to the fresh apex of his career currently, setting some kind of record for quickest irony poisoning ever.
What's it like to transition from fine art to web comics? Why have Beetle Moses' comics quickly connected with so many people on the internet? What kind of toppings would you like on your hamburger? All that and lots more will be answered on this episode of Thought Cops.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Like what we do? Buy us a Ko-fi!
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com