January 7, 2020
LIVE from the Crowd Theater in Neo-Chicago, Illinois: Brianna Murphy joins us for another live show!
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https://youtu.be/3M0TWrhj370
Field Notes
This was our second live show we've done at the Crowd Theater in Chicago. Brianna performed some standup, we hated on airplane feet, Facebook, and bro ads, and we sentenced the Top Ten Rocks songs of the decade, the Pope, and a couple of large boys using our brand new wheel of punishment. Malort was consumed, familiar faces were seen, and laughs were had by all. 2020's already turning out to be a good year.
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
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December 29, 2019
Happy after-holidays, everyone! Didn't get what you wanted for Christmas or whatever? Well, here's something else you didn't ask for: a free episode of our spin-off show, Fire Bros!
Click here to buy a ticket for our live show on January 2nd at the Crowd Theater!
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"Fire Bros? W.T.F. is that," you may be wondering. Well, if you donate at least $2 to us on Patreon, you'll get access to ALL of the episodes of our spin-off show Fire Bros where we review four different pieces of media each month. Who else but the Thought Cops could determine what is and isn't safe for public consumption? Will Joker up in the Library Of Regress, or will it be burned along with the forgotten pages of history? Tune in to find out!
December 22, 2019
Hope this works: we're back with comedian Bruce Kesselring this week, and we've got a few prizes in store for you as well!
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Field Notes
Click here to buy a ticket for our live show on January 2nd at the Crowd Theater!
In our final episode of the decade, we look to the twitter toilet for answers. Turns out, it might just be a prank to rile us up? And 99.99% of people didn't bother to check the OP's bio? Yeah, that tracks.
We also read some relationship advice this week, and learn about history. Hallmark Channel pulls a holiday ad because they thought they'd lose money, and then puts it back up realizing that they could indeed make more money.
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
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December 16, 2019
We, for all intents and purposes, out here. Peter and Niko are back!
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Field Notes
Click here to buy a ticket for our live show on January 2nd at the Crowd Theater!
The decade is about to come to a close, and we take a moment to look back on and discuss the worst things to happen between 2010 and now.
Egg discourse takes place on twitter this week, where a man who looks like an egg tells a woman that her eggs are dying out. Greta Thunberg is named Time Magazine's Person Of The Year. Though, it was better when it was Us. We also learn about the Bloomberg Dance that trolled many this week.
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
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![Case File 145 with Marty]()
December 10, 2019
Open this post for a surprise, and like it when you see it! Deputy Marty returns for yet another episode of this week's Thought Cops! You can follow him on twitter HERE.
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Field Notes
Are you in the right headspace for a new episode? Have you been thinking sexual thoughts about us that you'd like to share? Well hit that subscribe button and drop us a line at 312-788-7361. This week we uncover the internet's dumbest man, who bought his wife an exercise bike for Christmas. See why people are sending him death threats. We also uncover the internet's dumbest woman, Billie Eilish, who doesn't know who Van Halen is. What a moron!
We've got another live show coming up in Chicago! January 2nd at the Crowd Theater featuring special guest Brianna Murphy! Be there or we'll see you in Minecraft! Tickets available HERE!
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
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November 26, 2019
*braahhp* Ari Grabb, creator of Bento Banana and animator on Rick And Morty returns to the show!
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https://youtu.be/Hwqw9Pmp8so
Field Notes
Happy Thoughtsgiving! We're gonna tell our kids this was a good podcast.
Lots of stuff happening this week, but it's not a big deal for us or anything. We have the mental capacity/space to do so. Like Pete Buttigieg, we have high, high hopes. So, get in your poorly rendered Cybertruck for a ridealong that you'll never forget!
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
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![Case File 142 with Aaron Klopfer]()
November 19, 2019
Is there a podcast-HER? Mentally unsound comedian Aaron Klopfer makes his triumphant return to Thought Cops! Make sure you check out his YouTube page KloppTube for all sorts of content you would expect from a man who uses facebook status updates in place of weekly therapy sessions.
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Field Notes
Kevin made his Mega64 debut this week on the Poorly Played Stream. Simply put? Ya don't wanna miss a second of it. It's a blast!
We discuss the very real concern of Keanu Reeves burnout. He's in everything these days and folks, we're burning through him faster than fossil fuels. We also discuss how NOT to promote your art on social media, and the dangers or lack-thereof of wearing shorts every day in Chicago winters.
Disney Plus launched this week and had a few debacles or, as we're going to call them, "Maclunkeys". PayPal blocks pornhub for some reason, and gender reveals turn nasty (deadly).
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
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![Case File 141 with Vito Gesualdi]()
November 11, 2019
Vito Gesualdi joins us this week on Thought Cops to help us do heroic shit while wearing capes. You can follow him on Twitter, check out his Youtube channel, and purchase his board game Enemy Weapon here.
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Field Notes
This week, we get our hands into the Epstein coverup story, which somehow takes second seat to the new Pokemon game that's about to come out. We also spend a lot of time talking about T.I.'s daughter's virginity check-ins, a topic I think we could've all done without knowing.
Not all heroes wear capes, but we might start soon just to make you look like a fucking idiot. Then and only then will Nintendo finally hire us.
Make sure to check out Officer Kevin on Mega64's Poorly Played Stream this Wednesday at 7pm PST/9pm CST on their Twitch channel.
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
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