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Cleaning up the mean streets of the internet - because somebody's gotta do it. From the cyberpunk hellscape of Neo-Chicago, Officer Kevin and Officer Grant monitor the world wide web so you don't have to. Leave us a voicemail to play on the show: 312-788-7361 or send an audio file to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com The Thought Cops have deputized a number of your favorite thought leaders, content creators, comedians, online personalities, and more, in their effort to clean up the internet once and for all.
Episodes
Monday Aug 31, 2020
Monday Aug 31, 2020
This week, Donni Saphire, Chicago comedian extraordinaire, joins the Thought Cops to deep dish out some Chicago-style justice.
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Field Notes
This week, one of our listeners learns the hard way what happens when you cheat at a participation contest. You'll want to find out what happens.
We also fight our way through some tumultuous technical difficulties to bring you a steaming hot fresh new episode where we take down "men" and their "red flag movies," as well as outdoor comedy in general. If you expected anything less you should be ashamed of yourself.
In the news this week it looks like men have been stealing sleep from women, math is fake, Amazon develops a smart watch to tone-police and body-shame you, people cyber harass a woman on the internet for... having breasts? And, have the Thought Cops finally met their match in the twitter user "Billy Back The Blue?" Find out all this and more on this week's episode of Thought Cops!
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Monday Aug 24, 2020
Monday Aug 24, 2020
Never fear, this week Chicago comedian Max Shanker is here. It's been a while.
Field Notes
Chicagoplainers and Californiaplainers alike won't like this episode, but I hope you all do. This week Max helps us segregate video games by gender, get weird at the DNC, help Marge Simpson delve into the exciting world of politics, and keep the empty nests a little bit warmer by keeping men at home with their parents for a little bit longer.
Donate to THIS LINK to help #savethechildren.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Monday Aug 17, 2020
Monday Aug 17, 2020
SephirothSword57's brother DavePretendo returns to talk about all the baka bullshit on the internet this week, as well as a lot of gossip surrounding his brother recently.
Field Notes
If you've played a video game before, chances are, you've fought a giant spider. Thanks to the new spider slider, giant spiders in video games may be a thing of the past with this latest Accessibility Option.
Ben Shapiro releases a banger this week as he covers Cardi B's WAP (Wet Ass P-Word). And he definitely is not mad about the responses to it. The peanut that will not die returns once again in another chapter of the worst Brand Twitter content of all time. Well, that wasn't on my 2020 bingo card.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Aug 11, 2020
Tuesday Aug 11, 2020
Would you and your friends listen to this podcast for $10,000? Sarah Black of Please Save Me saves the show this week!
Field Notes
Family members giving you unsolicited advice on your content? Yeah, we've all been there.
Lunchables for adults became a subject of hot debate this week. Disney Channel's Boy Meets World reboot is anti-commonism, and apparently Ren and Stimpy are coming back. The 90s never end, do they?
Make sure to subscribe to twitch.tv/thoughtcops, where we'll be streaming regularly Tuesday and Sunday nights from 7-9pm central. We've also got brand new merch in our store!
Credit to “C B” for this week's Thought Cops theme song cover, played at the end of the episode.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Thursday Aug 06, 2020
Thursday Aug 06, 2020
Set your Mochiflix membership level to Platinum, because this week on the show we have Ari Grabb, creator of Bento Banana returning to promote the newest installment in the saga. Also, former guest and friend of the show Asterios Kokkinos of The Loudest Podcast does some voice acting in Bento Banana 3, and is here to promote Family Matters.
Field Notes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMxXvDs0Xxo
Make sure to look for the Thought Cops Easter Egg in the newest Bento Banana!
Also make sure to subscribe to twitch.tv/thoughtcops, where we'll be streaming regularly Tuesday and Sunday nights from 7-9pm central.
This is an episode you won't want to miss. Usually we edit out all the mistakes but we left them all in. What a wild ride. This episode is both an absolute nightmare and a brilliant work of postmodern art. We throw George X.L. Martin in jail for not finishing his book. We cancel Red Letter Media for their constant bullying of one of the most famous men on the planet. We choke Joe Rogan out in Jiu-Jitsu (in Minecraft) for calling video games "a waste of time." We also uncover the hidden messages that Asterios has been sneaking into every episode of Thought Cops, that if you isolate shows you the entirety of Family Matters, just like the McBain movie in the Simpsons.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Jul 28, 2020
Tuesday Jul 28, 2020
This you? Kris Wilson, co-creator of Cyanide & Happiness returns to the program in full force this week.
Field Notes
The hottest new game, Gamer Girl, had it's trailer pulled from the publisher's website this week after 'disastrous reception'. Can't imagine why. Thankfully someone re-uploaded it here.
Amidst decades of criticism, The Washington Redskins finally change their name to the Washington Football Team. DJ Joey Gamerword decides his stagename might be a little problematic, and a petition launches to change some of the in-store branding for Trader Joe's.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Wednesday Jul 22, 2020
Wednesday Jul 22, 2020
Now stepping up to the plate, Ian Erickson of Punching Up is back on Thought Cops for round two. Frick, now I'm confusing my sports metaphors.
Field Notes
We start the episode by cutting into each other, and it turns out that we were all cake. The whole time. Overrated joke, sure, but if we have to keep dredging on throughout this stupid ass culture war go ahead and stick our heads in the oven, because fuck it.
This week we have an update on the Harper's "Cancel Culture" Letter (turns out they cancelled someone who signed it), blue checkmarks went to the Twitter version of a gulag, Taco Bell turns old menu items into cake, Goya Beans turns into a can of cake, and Cake Computers tells cakesumers not to put cake on their caketop camera, or else it will cake your cakecake. Cake.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Wednesday Jul 15, 2020
Wednesday Jul 15, 2020
Clean your pipes and flush as loudly as you can, on the show this week we have Brandon Kirkman of the podcasts Podzooky and Desks and Dayjobs, which are all a part of the Machine Culture Collective!
Field Notes
Light up the biggest weed you can and smash that play button, because we're cancelling culture and fucking memes over here. Brandon assists us in getting the CAREN Act passed, taking down toxic masculinity one giant city skyscraper at a time, flipping the Scrabble board over, and helping white country bands steal the names of black blues singers that they then turn around and sue. HEY WAIT A MINUTE. No, we're here to do the opposite of that. What's the point of this show again? Who gets punished? Are the eyes of justice as blind as the long dick of the law, constantly thrusting upward toward the sky and ejaculating all over the dark corners of the internet? Find the answer to all of those questions and more, this week on Thought Cops!
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Wednesday Jul 08, 2020
Wednesday Jul 08, 2020
We spend the 4th of July podcasting instead of grilling as Nico "ncoio" joins us in celebration.
iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review
Field Notes
This week, everyone is cancelled. It's like that movie The Purge, except it's different. Reddit, YouTube, and comedies released in the 2000's are under intense scrutiny for a litany of reasons, which you will just have to listen to the episode to find out.
A married couple wielding assault weapons on the front lawn of their McMansion goes viral, and Twitter releases a bunch of coding language changes that we wouldn't have known about if they hadn't advertised their coding language changes.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Jun 30, 2020
Tuesday Jun 30, 2020
Be nice to us! Alex and Alex of Be Nice To Me Productions are back this week with some exciting news for Thought Cops listeners!
iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review
https://youtu.be/lXaBB7MoWys
Field Notes
Kevin and Grant have starring roles in Be Nice To Me Productions' latest short film Chief Marketing Officer Job Downtown, which just released. We take a deep dive into talking about that, so consider that your homework for this week :-)
Otherwise, crime doesn't stop and it's business as usual once again. A guy sues Twitch because boobs are too sexy. No, seriously. He almost burns his house down from ejaculate. Snapchat apologizes for a Juneteenth filter which is tasteless, to put it quite lightly. Big Mouth discourse heats up this week, and a controversial article about the closing of Chicago's legendary comedy theater, iO Theater, comes to light.
Grab your himbos, get some tendies, and watch Be Nice To Me Productions' latest short film!
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com