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Cleaning up the mean streets of the internet - because somebody's gotta do it. From the cyberpunk hellscape of Neo-Chicago, Officer Kevin and Officer Grant monitor the world wide web so you don't have to. Leave us a voicemail to play on the show: 312-788-7361 or send an audio file to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com The Thought Cops have deputized a number of your favorite thought leaders, content creators, comedians, online personalities, and more, in their effort to clean up the internet once and for all.
Episodes
Tuesday Apr 20, 2021
Tuesday Apr 20, 2021
Comedian Bruce Kesselring is back again, and it's about time too. And this time, things get even CRAZIER on this episode of Thought Cops! Would you believe it, folks.
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Field Notes
This week, people STILL don't know how to google things, but at least everyone understands the assignment. This week's assignment? Locate the Mayor of Twitter, Chrissy Teigen. Success! She's back on Twitter after 3 weeks and looking to find 13 million of her closest friends.
Speaking of being back, so is Lindsay Ellis after raking Movie Bob over the coals. At least she's sorry. We should all quit twitter for a week and come back so that people write articles about it. Who cares about any of this shit.
Finally, the MyPillow guy starts a new "free speech" website named "Frank" and you'll never guess which words you're not allowed to say there.
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Apr 13, 2021
Tuesday Apr 13, 2021
Brett Mercer, Blain Hill, and Bart Dangus of Big Time Garbage bring the heat in this beefy barn-burner of an episode.
Field Notes
Release the Podas cut- we talk at length about lengthy movies and the discussion around them. Bigger is always better? According to some parts of film twitter: yes. We talk about the weird cult of personality that is the stand-up comedy scene (especially in the last year of COVID times), and too many people are talk-singing online as a form of comedy. Do a podcast and talk normal, fuck you.
Space Jam discourse is back. Again. We're sorry, okay? Coca-Cola gets cancelled, and no, Pepsi is NOT okay.
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Wednesday Apr 07, 2021
Wednesday Apr 07, 2021
Zack from Yolo Swag Studios and Sissy Hypno Hour and also Daphne from Sissy Hypno Hour join us for a fresh new episode this week! Don't forget to support em on Patreon!
Field Notes
Starting out the episode, we get our beef before our potatoes in when we find out that Prager U is doing plagiarism against us but worse:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq_L_U9tOww
April Fools, that's not plagiarism. It's just bad.
This week, we nearly had ourselves a white boy summer, but that soon got cancelled.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlYtIywInYA
We also spend a decent amount of the episode talking about musicians singing songs about Satan. What fucking decade is it anymore?
Two episodes of Spongebob have been cancelled, and holy shit did Kaitlin Bennett really poop her pants that badly? How are we only just now talking about this. Anyway, it derails the show nearly as bad as the turtle picture did. You know which one.
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Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Monday Mar 29, 2021
Monday Mar 29, 2021
Thought Cops' main character of the day Leslie Lee III of the podcast Struggle Session returns!
Field Notes
Is "cancel culture" the new "red scare"? Is Amazon's 'News Bot' reason to praise our future robot overlords? How does one become "twitter's main character of the day"? All these questions and more will be answered on this very episode.
Speaking of characters, we do a deep dive on the shrimp tail cereal guy. Don't know who that is? Too bad, you're going to find out. "Unofficial mayor of twitter" (citation needed) Chrissy Teigen quits twitter, kids vote on their top jobs when they want to grow up, and lots more. Plus, your listener voicemails!
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Join the Thought Cops Discord!
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Wednesday Mar 24, 2021
Wednesday Mar 24, 2021
Joining us for the threepeat, Martin Felshman returns to Thought Cops! Martin hosts a kaiju-themed comedy podcast called Podzooky, which Kevin and Grant have both been on!
Field Notes
It's been one year since the Land Beforetimes, so give yourselves a clap on the back!
Our current sitting president may or may not be a Fortnite DLC character in the flesh. Bill Burr discourse proves to be a banal topic and this will be the last time we discuss it on THIS program (Bill go on Thought Cops).
We also do a deep dive on an infographic that's gone around twitter this week: The Aggressively Bland White Dude's Watchlist.
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Wednesday Mar 17, 2021
Wednesday Mar 17, 2021
International man of mystery Greg joins us this week for another episode of Thought Cops, the spiritual successor to Film Dungeon.
Field Notes
Women belong on the mic.
If they want to, of course. Yet only 20% of podcasters are women. We're on a mission to-
Yeah yeah, you get it.
Space Jam discourse continues into yet another week. Papa John emerges from the hyperbolic time chamber and discusses the rigid training regimen that he's gone through. Mumford and son(s) get cancelled. You had to be there I guess??
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Mar 09, 2021
Tuesday Mar 09, 2021
Witten returns to our ye ye ass podcast- yiff yiff!
Field Notes
We collectively lose our minds once again, but that's just the tip of the iceberg theory on this episode. Lola Bunny's cartoon womxn physique is under fire, we request a petition to let Ben Garrison reboot the Dr Seuss franchise, twitch fumbles the bag yet again, and a whole lot more.
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Monday Mar 01, 2021
Monday Mar 01, 2021
See how deep the rabbit hole goes- Charls Carroll is back on the show this week with much mirth and revelry abound.
Field Notes
No knowledge in this episode. Only lots and lots of wisdom. And laughs. And smiles.
We put an end to New Types Of Guys. No more New Types Of Guys. Mr Potato head is genderless now in a cunning move by Big Potato (Hasbro). Or I guess he isn't anymore? Who cares. Biden's dog gets banned from twitter, and Metallica gets DMCA'd on twitch somehow.
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Feb 23, 2021
Tuesday Feb 23, 2021
We're back! This week we're joined by Chicago comedian Sophia Smarandescu. You can follow her on Twitter, instagram, and Tiktok.
Field Notes
No L's posted in this episode, only W's. Except for Gina Carano from The Mandalorian, who now has to work with Ben Shapiro on a movie. Also Rush Limbaugh died. Oops. Martin Scorsese also got cancelled for saying films have been getting worse (they have). And a tiktok star got Gorilla Glue stuck in her hair. God, what a depressing show we do each week. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review :)
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Friday Feb 12, 2021
Friday Feb 12, 2021
It's finally here! The big one: Episode 200! We have a bunch of former guests and listeners call in for what's possibly the longest episode in Thought Cops history! Thanks to everyone who has contributed, listened, and supported us throughout the years!
Field Notes
When we set out to start doing this podcast a little over four years ago, we never thought we'd have such an amazing community of people that supported us and our work. So the episode is our way of showcasing that! Big thanks for the Discord News Team, the discordians, all the deputies everywhere, the patrons, all of our past guests, and anybody who listens to or follows us. Hopefully the best is still yet to come, 2020 was rough for everybody but big things are in store for 2021. Not much else to say about this one, it's nearly 3 hours worth of two minuteses of hate and keys to the cities from a number of different community voices, so it speaks for itself! Thanks so much, everyone!
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com