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Cleaning up the mean streets of the internet - because somebody's gotta do it. From the cyberpunk hellscape of Neo-Chicago, Officer Kevin and Officer Grant monitor the world wide web so you don't have to. Leave us a voicemail to play on the show: 312-788-7361 or send an audio file to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com The Thought Cops have deputized a number of your favorite thought leaders, content creators, comedians, online personalities, and more, in their effort to clean up the internet once and for all.
Episodes
Tuesday Sep 03, 2019
Tuesday Sep 03, 2019
The only good riot is a laugh riot (sorry) and this week we got one for ya: Brianna Murphy is back!
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Field Notes
We talk about doing our first ever live show, and we hit the ground running in one of our wildest eppys yet! Dave Chappelle's latest Netflix special rustles some feathers, hey, speaking of feathers, we talk about the Chicken Wars! Brand twitter absolutely goes OFF this week as Popeyes, Chick-Fil-A, Wendy's, and more, debate just who has the best chicken sandwich! Folks, we live in a society. Speaking of hacky comedy, Pete Davidson gets mad at people in his age group for being on their phones a lot. Not all heroes wear capes. We love that for you. We live in a republic.
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Support the show on PatreonEpisode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Aug 27, 2019
Tuesday Aug 27, 2019
Finally- a live Thought Cops spectacular. And what better way to kick off our first live show than with our good friends Asterios Kokkinos and Sirancha, at the beautiful Crowd Theater in Chicago! It isn't Thought Cops On Ice, but it is the next best thing.
https://youtu.be/nuOe4HCJqmw
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Field Notes
Asterios and Sirancha stop by Neo-Chicago on their Loudest Podcast tour, and we get together for a Thought Cops live special to delight the masses.
We gotta keep it real though. Conan, we love you, but podcasting is our game. Until you let us have our own late night show, stay the hell off the cover of Wired magazine. The artist formerly known as Bagel Boss is in some legal heat, The Simpsons post cringe, and why the fuck doesn't Wario have any nipples?
So tune in to the show and watch it on YouTube if you can, because we've got some surprise appearances you won't want to miss, including Brad Carter, creator of Phone Losers Of America!
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Monday Aug 19, 2019
Monday Aug 19, 2019
This week on Thought Cops we're joined by all four members of the podcast Roast Mortem! If you haven't checked em out yet, they do a great show where they roast the shit out of dead people. And as it turns out, most of them deserve it.
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Field Notes
This episode, Cody, Mike, Tom, and Travis throw their history books out and pick up a the book of LAW. With their help, we take down the cafeteria table meme, self-righteous news anchors, Facially Exaggerated Clickbait Engagement Screencaps, the entire internet for destroying our Geocities sites, the overdone trend of turning every song into a metal cover, and irritating Instagram features.
That's not all though. There's a new slur in town: Fredo. Coined by a guy who really likes coining slurs for himself. People are also upset that Rocko's Modern Life made a character trans. Looks like that show's about to get fucking cancelled. I wanted "modern life," not "post-modern neo-Marxist" life. News also broke this week that everybody's favorite porn star Mia Khalifa only made $12,000 from her brief career in pornography. Please donate to her Porntreon.
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Click here for tickets to see us live on Thursday, August 22nd at the Crowd Theater in Chicago.
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Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Aug 13, 2019
Tuesday Aug 13, 2019
Creator of Tales From The Internet, Justin Whang (Instagram / Twitter) is back on the show! Justin's channel is about to hit 500,000 subscribers, so be sure to hit that big red subscribe button and you might just be the lucky 500,000th subscriber. Maybe Justin will give you a prize or something, I don't know.
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Field Notes
Point of privilege: we are going to be talking throughout the episode. There is also some clapping, so keep in mind this episode may not be for the faint of heart. So yes, we do talk about that DSA video.
Did You Know? In the face of national tragedy, people still die from the flu. Thanks Neil deGrasse Tyson. People are letting this guy scoot by because he's a meme, right? Well, at least he isn't a dog-beating YouTuber.
All that, and YOUR listener voicemails? You better believe it- don't miss this episode!
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Click here for tickets to see us live on Thursday, August 22nd at the Crowd Theater in Chicago.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Aug 06, 2019
Tuesday Aug 06, 2019
Livin' la vida- just kidding. Welcome back to Thought Cops- where the hits. Just. Keep. Coming. That's right. This week we've got Nicky Martin in "da" house. Nicky has been the host of Chicago Underground Comedy for several years and we are seeing him off before he moves to Los Angeles to be near The Industry.
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Field Notes
We guested on the podcast Filler Content this week hosted by our good friends Hard Men Working Hard. Listen to find out what horrible thing Lakembra did.
People are mad that you need a "Bethesda account" to play the 1993 classic 'Doom' on the Nintendo Switch. But just kidding- that was apparently some kind of practical joke! Speaking of: Steve-O's twitter account got hacked to say very bad words. Cue Steve-O throwing up sound effect. Parody cartoons are mean no matter what, and we play some wild n' crazy listener voicemails!
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Click here for tickets to see us live on Thursday, August 22nd at the Crowd Theater in Chicago.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Monday Jul 29, 2019
Monday Jul 29, 2019
It's that time of the week, folks: garbage day, once again. Our good friend Brett Mercer of Big Time Garbage was in Neo-Chicago this week so you know that we had to do it to 'em.
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Field Notes
We might have had a little too much Malört this episode, but that's never stopped us from doing our civic duty and doing it like a mother fucking sir. So, have a seat, this one's a wild one. Oh, but uh, before ya do, keep in mind chairs are gendered now too, and cock and ball torture is mandatory. So whether you got a man hole or something else, no one is safe.
Being that Brett is visiting, we need to discuss the problem with Chicago pizza elitists, and put an end once and for all to the thinkpieces about what a real Chicago pizza is. We don't play games here, and we aren't Monopoly truthers either. Pass go and tell your friends to listen to Thought Cops.
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Wednesday Jul 24, 2019
Wednesday Jul 24, 2019
Well hey, would you look at that! With us this week is Alex Schultz of Be Nice To Me Productions, a Chicago-based YouTube sketch comedy group, with some real wild-ass vidz that must be seen to be believed.
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Field Notes
Hey guys, there is an app on your phone that makes you look like an old FUCK. Check it out- here's me!
Bagel Boss. 5 feet of pure bagel dough and rage! You aren't god, or his father, or his boss, so make sure not to skip out on this embarrassing video! Make sure to watch it before you and all your facebook friends get gunned down by federal agents for trying to Naruto run your way into Area 51. Warning: This Is Epic.
There's a new James Bond, and people are talkin' about it! Spoiler: People have strong opinions on it. Spoiler: It isn't Scarlett Johansson.
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Click here for tickets to see us live on Thursday, August 22nd at the Crowd Theater in Chicago.
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Sunday Jul 14, 2019
Sunday Jul 14, 2019
Go nuts- we've got Luke Taylor of The Shrimp Boys and Helltrap Nightmare in studio with us this week after waging a posting war against Mr. Peanut and his many minions. Luke runs us through his harrowing tale of getting lightly salted, and lightly cancelled.
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Field Notes
Neo-Chicago, we're in you! You beautiful cyberpunk city, I keep comin' back cause I just can't get enough of your sweet... ass?
Well, it's the summertime, and you know what that means. That's right, make sure to watch the dial on your air conditioner because cold temperatures may reinstate outdated gender norms. How? Your guess is as good as ours, zaddy! Disney is remaking another one of their classic animated films into another lifeless live action shell. This time it's The Little Mermaid, and this time she is black. Well? Are you going to buy a ticket now?
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Click here for tickets to see us live on Thursday, August 22nd at the Crowd Theater in Chicago.
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Tuesday Jul 09, 2019
Tuesday Jul 09, 2019
Greetings! This week we have Chicago comedian Martin Felshman in studio (bedroom). Martin runs the weekly show Cupcake Comedy Cabaret here in Chicago, so if you've got a sweet tooth and want some laughs, don't miss it! Martin is also the co-host of another Chicago podcast, Podzooky! So if you wanna hear about kaiju and want some laughs, don't miss it! Oh yeah, Niko is here too!
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Field Notes
We've got a lot of problems this week, and none of them are "smol" potatoes. Pokemon fans are upset their favorite 'mons might be left behind in a movement they've dubbed "Dexit"! In dumb people news: the bottle cap challenge is very popular.
5 words I've been waiting my whole life to say: The Dalai Lama Is Cancelled. That's right, folks. That news may be hard to swallow, so make sure to wash it down with a hearty swig of GamerGirl Bath Water. It's only $30 a jar.
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Click here for tickets to see us live on Thursday, August 22nd at the Crowd Theater in Chicago.
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Wednesday Jul 03, 2019
Wednesday Jul 03, 2019
This week we're joined by Derrick Acosta of Mega64 and the Heartslayers podcast on episode 122 of Thought Cops! Make sure to give him a follow and a watch and a listen on all platforms! And check out this amazing fucking Metal Gear Solid video Mega64 made a little over a month ago:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-i9unRCvsA&feature=youtu.be
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Field Notes
This episode, Derrick helps us take down the thought criminals of the week, of which there are many. Louis CK performed at a ska festival called Skankfest and gave the audience a standing o. Or they gave him one. Oh god how do I find my way out of this euphemism.
Evangelion comes to Netflix, and everyone hates it. Because a boy doesn't tell another boy he loves him or something. And then he jerks off into his hand? While New York, New York by Frank Sinatra's playing in the background. Man, is anime weird.
Kim Kardashian tries to trademark the word "kimono" so as punishment we tie her to a chair and make her watch Andrew Dice Clay perform standup with Roseanne Barr. Shut the fuck up and take my money.
Make sure to subscribe to our Twitch channel! We're Twitch affiliates now. Hooray!
Click here to buy Thought Cops t-shirts and mugs.
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Click here for tickets to see us live on Thursday, August 22nd at the Crowd Theater in Chicago.