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Cleaning up the mean streets of the internet - because somebody's gotta do it. From the cyberpunk hellscape of Neo-Chicago, Officer Kevin and Officer Grant monitor the world wide web so you don't have to. Leave us a voicemail to play on the show: 312-788-7361 or send an audio file to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com The Thought Cops have deputized a number of your favorite thought leaders, content creators, comedians, online personalities, and more, in their effort to clean up the internet once and for all.
Episodes

Monday Nov 12, 2018
Case File 91 with Steven Russell B of Everything Must Go
Monday Nov 12, 2018
Monday Nov 12, 2018
Welcome to episode 91 of Thought Cops!
This week, we're joined by fellow Chicago podcast host Steven Russell B from the show Everything Must Go! You can find him on Twitter and Instagram.
Steven helps us fight internet crime such as peoples' inability to understand basic statistics, Youtube comment section sob stories, and No-Nut November. We also nab this week's biggest internet outrage perps, Pete Davidson, Matt Christman from Chapo Trap House, Mr. Game and Watch, Tyler Perry's Madea, and a 65 year old man who identifies as 20 years younger.
Thanks to everyone for listening, don't forget to leave us an iTunes review, a voicemail at 312-788-7361, and check out our Patreon page for bonus episodes and more.

Tuesday Nov 06, 2018
Case File 90 with Alex Prevolos
Tuesday Nov 06, 2018
Tuesday Nov 06, 2018
Ahoy, and welcome aboard S.S. Thought Cops.
This week, we are joined by Chicago comedian Alex Prevolos of the comedy group The Storefront! They're always doing lots of cool things, so be sure to check them out!
Here's our Shrek Fest video we mentioned in the episode if you haven't seen it already:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3Ase1P-K2g
If you are a subscriber on Patreon, a new episode of our other show Fire Bros released this week! You're not gonna wanna miss this one, and for just $2, it's all yours! We've also beefed up our $10 Patreon tier, so feel free to bump up your subscriptions if you'd like.
Sorry, maybe that was a bit of a weird flex. But... OK?
Kanye is back on twitter, and he says he's been bamboozled! That's right- hornswaggled! Tampered with! Tricked!!! He's been Smeckledorfed! Well, it comes to an end, now. The only way possible: with Rick and Morty memes.
Ben and Jerry's released a new ice cream called "Pecan Resist" this week. This is sure to change everything.
Halloween may be over, but that can only mean one thing. That's right: post-Halloween problematic costume backlash! You're not gonna believe this one folks, so stay tuned.
As always, we got some HOT listener voicemails for ya. And hey, go ahead and leave your own at 312-788-7361. Thanks for listening! Oh yeah, subscribe to us on YouTube.

Tuesday Oct 30, 2018
Case File 89 with Producer Zwick and Gumshoe Niko
Tuesday Oct 30, 2018
Tuesday Oct 30, 2018
Happy Hangover-ween, everyone! Ugh.
Alcohol- is it good or bad? You listen to this episode and be the judge. We partied a little too hard on pre-Halloween weekend, and look at what's become of us. Thank you Zwick and GUMSHOE Niko for coming along for the ride.
This week, Justin Bieber eats a burrito the wrong way, and the internet loses it's mind! Who gives a fuck.
Apu is set to leave The Simpsons and Springfield behind, and Elon Musk is forced to face his age with the age old question: what are your dankest memes?
Remember when we used to binge-eat candy on Halloween instead of binge-drinking cheap liquor? I don't anymore.

Thursday Oct 25, 2018
Case File 88 with Lowtax of Something Awful
Thursday Oct 25, 2018
Thursday Oct 25, 2018
Internet legend Lowtax joins us this week! The creator of Something Awful, Gaming Garbage, and Murder the Internet lends us his many years of online outrage expertise to help dish out divine justice to those who mildly annoy us.
It's Halloween time. So get ready for an influx of skeleton gifs and "2 spoopy" culture that's almost too cute to step all over, but fuck it, that's why we're here.
To take a page out of Kleenex's book: this episode is Man-Sized.
Lawsuits against comedians have been all the rage this year, and now fellow podcast host (yes we just held you in the same regard as us) Will Menaker of Chapo Trap House is being sued by former Trump Adviser Jason Miller for likening him to a "rat face baby killer." We can't determine if that meant he looked like he killed rat-faced babies, or if he was a baby killer who had a rat face. I suppose it doesn't matter.
It's a bad time to be a nameless character wandering around a town in a JRPG, because twitter has begun banning the "NPC meme". If you told me this sentence a year ago, I'd laugh. If you told it to me today, I'd cry. Did I do it on the episode? Listen and find out.
Oh yeah. We talk about Gritty.
Thanks to everyone who left us a voicemail: 312-788-7361. You can also participate on-air in the live chat every week by donating to us on Patreon. See you next week!

Tuesday Oct 16, 2018
Case File 87 with Deputy Peter and Deputy Niko
Tuesday Oct 16, 2018
Tuesday Oct 16, 2018
Your two favorite playable-character hosts are back! The Thought Cops are on the beat!
We are joined by Deputy Peter who lends us his side of the emotional labor in this year's edition of "Halloween Costumes That Might Be Awkward To Show Up At A Party In". Deputy Niko stops by to chime in as well!
Taylor Swift broke her political silence this week. And we've been waiting on pins and needles to offer our opinions on the matter. At last, you can hear them on this episode.
We also talk about Alec Baldwin coming down with a nasty case of consumption (read: irony poisoning), and the ill-advised "#HimToo" movement. This is why we can't have nice things (heard a funny character in Anchorman say this line, thought I'd try it out here)
For more hilarious content, stick around for fan voicemails, and be sure to leave your own at 312-788-7361. We do this every damn week! Thanks everyone for your continued support of the show, and don't forget to follow us on twitch for all kinds of "heated gaming moments" as well, such as trying to find the last three music notes in a Banjo-Kazooie stage. Jesus.

Tuesday Oct 09, 2018
Case File 86 with Mike Mancini
Tuesday Oct 09, 2018
Tuesday Oct 09, 2018
Hold on tight. That's right. We're back. And we're joined by Mike Mancini of the Black Sheep, once again! Mike talks about the Black Sheep's newest interactive video series "Comment Below". Have a look for yourself and join in on the fun:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6booYtjl4m8
We reached our first stretch goal on Patreon! Thank you so much to all who donate, and if ya haven't? You're missin' out on the live discord chats, and if this episode is any indication, things can get a little heated.
Speaking of heat (*high fives self*), we also released a new episode of our Patreon-exclusive spin-off podcast "Fire Bros"! We discuss whether or not certain media is safe for public consumption... or if it it should be scorched from this plane of existence. This month we dig through Shovel Knight, Glow, Gurren Lagann, and Incredibles 2. Feelings may get hurt along the way this time. Stay tuned.
Grant talks about his near-death experience with a uniquely "handicapped" uber driver. Kevin discusses /our guy/ guys, and Mike tells us why everyone's fat ass thought this episode was a chicken nugget.
Speaking of near death experiences (*high fives my friends*), we discuss the man in the purple hoodie, "Cuck Norris". Honestly, you just need to see this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7SqtIe5rZQ
The "Curvy Wife" guy tries to sue Babe.net, and virtual idol Kizuna aims to take down Logan and Jake Paul. This sounds like some Skynet type shit, but honestly fuck those guys, it's worth it.
Thanks for all of the 312-788-7361 voicemails (we play them) and for the 5-star reviews (we read them). This show is fueled by interactivity, so make sure to get in the action and leave a voicemail and review!
(*high fives YOU*)

Tuesday Oct 02, 2018
Case File 85 with The Stenographer
Tuesday Oct 02, 2018
Tuesday Oct 02, 2018
Put on your Super Crowns and strap in for another episode of Thought Cops! This week we're joined by our show's own Stenographer, who is fortunate enough to work in a place where they don't print off memes and stick them on the fridge. Bow before her power and might.
This episode, we talk about memes in the wild, THAT being a thing, and the long anticipated rant on the Kiki Challenge. You're gonna be glad we waited for this one.
We also talk about sexy Handmaid's Tale Halloween costumes, Drake's grooming services, and last but definitely not least BOWSETTE. Talk about a sexy Halloween costume.
We also just released episode 5 of our monthly bonus episode Fire Bros! Check it out here.
And a BIG, big thanks to all our supporters on Patreon. We're almost at our first goal of $100 a month! The support has helped us pay for hosting, pay for equipment, and pay for gas money to go on trips like these:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3Ase1P-K2g

Tuesday Sep 25, 2018
The Slow Rogan Experience: Episode 84
Tuesday Sep 25, 2018
Tuesday Sep 25, 2018
Dr. Joseph B. Peterman is a clinical memeologist and tenured professor of psychology at the University of Kekkistan. This is his third time appearing on the Slow Rogan Experience.
All Dr. Peterman’s self-improvement writing programs at his online store here. Use coupon code: CHIMP- 0% off for Slow Rogan listeners.
You can get all of Slow Rogan's kettlebells, hunting bows, and Chad Brain™ supplements at this link: http://gorrila.balls. Don't forget to leave a five star review for a free sample of Zyklon A from Fritz Haber.
Outtro music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-cccZS7C5I

Wednesday Sep 19, 2018
Case File 83 with Gumshoe Blake, Deputy Justin, and Riley from Mighty Morphin Power Hour
Wednesday Sep 19, 2018
Wednesday Sep 19, 2018
We're back. We got it right this time. We really almost couldn't get it together this week.
The cousins return! Blake and Justin lend their wise minds to the show, to touch on things such as why good girls always fall for bad guys. Riley from Mighty Morphin Power Hour was in town visiting and joined us on mic as well!
This week's all about the heroes in society. Not speaking metaphorically, of course. I'm talking about SUPER heroes! Spider-Man and Superman are both in the news this week. What happened to them?? Tune in and find out.
We also talk about the Beatles jerking off together, Norm MacDonald's big new controversy, and Gymcels, so hold onto your gains.
We got a bunch of voicemails this week as well: 312-788-7361. Join in on the fun! Leave one, and we'll play it on the show. You can also support us at Patreon for bonus content and more. Thanks, love you all.

Tuesday Sep 11, 2018
Case File 82 with Deputy Niko
Tuesday Sep 11, 2018
Tuesday Sep 11, 2018
Welcome to the swamp- it's Thought Cops, "Episode 82"! This week, we're joined by Deputy Niko! Niko came with us on our pilgrimage to Shrek Fest. So we talk about the disaster that was. You can also commission her to draw normal stuff, Shrek Rule 34 stuff, and more, here.
How is this podcast still free? Oh wait, it's better than free if you donate to our Patreon.
We talk about that stupid face Elon Musk makes when he smokes weed on Joe Rogen's podcast. You know the one. Fuck everything. We talk about Alex Jones and Marco Rubio. Fuck everything. A guy allegedly sets his house on fire while burning his Nike products. Fuck everything.
Call into the show. The number is 312-788-7361. We'll play your voicemail on air. Remind us what it's like to feel pleasure in this world. Thanks for listening.