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Cleaning up the mean streets of the internet - because somebody's gotta do it. From the cyberpunk hellscape of Neo-Chicago, Officer Kevin and Officer Grant monitor the world wide web so you don't have to. Leave us a voicemail to play on the show: 312-788-7361 or send an audio file to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com The Thought Cops have deputized a number of your favorite thought leaders, content creators, comedians, online personalities, and more, in their effort to clean up the internet once and for all.
Episodes
Tuesday Jun 23, 2020
Tuesday Jun 23, 2020
E3 might be cancelled this year, but we have returning champion and Official Thought Cops Gaming Correspondent Danny "The Street 'Shadowforks'" Thompson join us for another episode of Thought Cops!
iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review
Support the show on Patreon
Field Notes
Unironically, there's a new episode this week. We would NEVER ironically post one. This week, Danny helps us find where "the line" is in comedy and activism, as well as helps us argue better with people in the comments sections. We add a third mic to the Thought Cops, "Officer Karen," help fire Aunt Jemima from her job, and stick Spongebob back in the closet, where he belongs. Inb4 "muh childhood=ruined!!!"
Here's the newest episode of Reeducationing! Like comment subscribe.
https://youtu.be/KF_9AkcP6Fk
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Jun 16, 2020
Tuesday Jun 16, 2020
We're back! And this week we're joined by Zack (Zach? Zatch???) of Yolo Swag Studios. You can follow him on Youtube, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, just make sure you follow him!
iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review
Field Notes
Did we miss anything? We might've taken a week off, but even the Simpsons couldn't have predicted what happened to the country last week. So there's a lot to catch up on.
Jake Paul gets arrested and the Thought Cops accidentally bailed him out. Oops! They also cancelled Cops and are gunning for Paw Patrol. I hope we're not next! The Looney Tunes also get their disarmed by the long dick of the state. Time for gamers to rise the fuck up.
Here's the newest episode of Reeducationing! Like comment subscribe.
https://youtu.be/KF_9AkcP6Fk
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Wednesday Jun 03, 2020
Wednesday Jun 03, 2020
What else can be said right now? Here's some ridiculous bullshit, hope this lightens your week. Tyler Russo is back with us, we have some great discussion and much needed laughs.
iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review
https://youtu.be/fOsqsNkhneo
Field Notes
We talk about annoying twitter joke prompts. Ruin a podcast with one letter? Easy. Thought Bops. Funny.
Priests are on watch this week as they steal our schtick (not that one), and boredom? It stinks! We discuss the Karen spectrum, and of course, the anatomy of a turtle penis. Grimes and Elon have "updated" their offspring's name, and much more.
Want to cover our theme song? We’ll play it on the show. Just email it over to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday May 26, 2020
Tuesday May 26, 2020
There may be no Aaron Klop-him, but there is an Aaron Klopfer, and he's with us this week for another episode of Thought Cops!
AUDIO.
iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review
Field Notes
Lockdown is driving everyone insane, insane enough to finally attempt sucking our own dicks. Aaron finally succeeded (suck-seed-ed). We talk about lockdown, the difficulties of wanting to do anything during lockdown, oh yeah and also do the show. Two big stories this week were the Jersey E-Girl's rise to fame and then within a couple hours rise to infamy. We also witness the world's first deergasm and wish that we hadn't. Please make it stop.
Make sure you check out our newest project, Reeducationing!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mjon-oNKkMA
Want to cover our theme song? We'll play it on the show. Just email it over to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday May 19, 2020
Tuesday May 19, 2020
What's this, a crossover episode? Sirancha and Niko from Darksyde Jills join the battle this week on Thought Cops!
iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review
Field Notes
This episode, we finally put an end to bodyshaming. Again. For like the fifth time or something. We pop a couple caps into the new Cal-Arts Toucan Sam, and take Chrissie Teigen's twitter account away from her. This is how we win.
Make sure you check out our newest project, Reeducationing!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mjon-oNKkMA
Want to cover our theme song? We'll play it on the show. Just email it over to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Wednesday May 13, 2020
Wednesday May 13, 2020
Don't lean in, listen in! Grant Duffrin from Shrek Retold, Shrekfest, and the3gi fame joins the fight, this week on Thought Cops!
iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review
Field Notes
In this week's action-packed Thought Cops adventure, we reveal a new story arc. We're going to be in the next iteration of Shrek Retold! We also make fun of Elon Musk and his new kid Missingno., have an in-depth conversation about posture and masculinity, and help manspreading cross over into the realm podcasting.
Make sure you check out our newest project, Reeducationing!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mjon-oNKkMA
Want to cover our theme song? We'll play it on the show. Just email it over to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Apr 28, 2020
Tuesday Apr 28, 2020
Sit back, relax, and pop open a bag of Corn Nuts, because Commissioner Zwick the Editor is here for the newest Thought Cops episode.
iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review
Field Notes
As depressing as this lockdown has been, we can always rely on Tom Hanks to buy us all typewriters and, donate his blood to science? I always knew he was a superhero.
Tom Hanks can't save all of us though. This big baby the internet keeps bullying, for instance. Or this one. Some of these jokes really only work if you click the links, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop.
Want to cover our theme song? We'll play it on the show. Just email it over to thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com. Also, if you subscribe to our $10 Patreon tier, you'll get early access to all of our upcoming youtube videos.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Apr 21, 2020
Tuesday Apr 21, 2020
Your cool friends might've all already heard this one, but send it to them anyway! Jeremy Kaplowitz, Editor in Chief of Hard Drive joins the fight this week! Jeremy is also the Campaign Manager of Ace Watkins, the Gamer President, and has his own podcast, The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! Show.
iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review
Field Notes
Who censors the censorers is this week's big question, and as always the answer is us. Disney is censoring your favorite (or not so favorite) movies left and right, removing women's asses or turning washing machines into pizza ovens. Have they no shame? Have they no decency? Anyway, we're here to set em straight and put nipples on their butts.
We also collectively cringed ourselves into an early death at the viewing of the abomination that is "Charmander," and now you all have to witness it too. You're welcome.
Right now you're probably at home baking bread and cutting your own bangs, but instead maybe consider donating to our Patreon and getting some sweet bonus content. At least your friends won't judge you for it.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Apr 14, 2020
Tuesday Apr 14, 2020
CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! Jim and Brian of Drink a Beer and Play a Game join us this week!
iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review
Field Notes
We talk about K*rens and M*chaels this week, how how to avoid a terminal case of PlayStation wrist, according to top scientists at OnlineCasino.ca. People can't jack it to the new Resident Evil game, and DuckTales? More like FuckTales, am I right, folks.
SNL gets quarantined yet won't go away. Maybe someone should donate to their patreon. We talk about the Mug Shot Trend or Mug Shot Challenge, and whatever dumb shit you people are doing to occupy yourselves right now.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com
Tuesday Apr 07, 2020
Tuesday Apr 07, 2020
Brett Mercer from Big Time Garbage joins the Thought Cops once more another fresh episode! April Fools, no he didn't. Just kidding, April Fools is CANCELLED. No but really, he's on this episode, and you should listen.
iTunes: Listen, subscribe, leave a review
Field Notes
April Fool's may be cancelled, but self-quarantined social isolationism isn't. We're all in our respective bunkers broadcasting to you LIVE through the internet some hot-off-the-plate internet justice, Thought Cops style (no ketchup.) We've got it all, jammed into one giant delicious episode.
On this episode we've learned that if the Sopranos is your favorite tv show, you might be just a little to the left of Adolph Hitler. The world may be crumbling all around us, but we can all still rely on dumb politics to unite us and make us feel like everything's back to normal. Just look at a Lori Lightfoot meme and shut up. Maybe if you do we'll all get through this quicker.
Speaking of wanting to get through things quicker, the sooner we can get through the Cuomo brothers' dumb fucking quarantine schtick the better. The news of the week that I never wanted to have to ever look at is "Nipplegazi." Click the link if you dare. One of them has the covid so maybe this will all be over sooner than we could all hope.
Brett and the Garbage boys have been streaming almost every night over on their twitch channel, make sure to give them a follow.
Join the Thought Cops Deputy Patrol
Click here to buy Thought Cops shirts, hoodies, stickers, and mugs.
Episode produced by Commissioner Zwick
Leave the show a voicemail at 312-788-7361 or thoughtcopspodcast@gmail.com